This Guy’s Top Five: Short Guy Syndrome Edition
Short guys…they get no respect. It is bad enough they have a hard time seeing over people and are picked on so much that they feel the need to pick fights with taller people. As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Below are this guy’s top five short guys making a ton of lemonade for being awesome.
Number 5: Marvin the Martian
A new guy to the FUNKO Assortment, Marvin comes complete with his trademark gun and the trademark eyes that look deep into a certain duck’s soul. He may not win on the cartoons, but he is still winning at life. Only Marvin can make a scrub brush on top of a helmet look cool.
Number 4: Stripe
The Pose. The Mohawk. The just want to have fun grin. The Stripe Pop is everything that is right about Vinyl Figures. Sure he may have had a hand in destroying a whole town while causing mass casualties and terror, but he really only wanted to have some friends and family to party with. The Stripe Pop succeeds at being a bad guy worthy of shelf-space.
Number 3: Stitch (Experiment 626 Version)
A coffee drinking, music loving, dance machine will always own a piece of my heart. Sure the market is stocked with different variants, but this Hot Topic Exclusive carries something the others don’t. His multiple arms, his weapons, and a smile only a mother, or me, could love. Sure the ears are so big that it takes up more space on the shelf then needed, but that’s what makes this pop even better. The look of this pop is so perfect; you would think they ripped it right from the movies. Sure it cost 5 bucks more at the time to buy it at Hot Topic, but awesomeness comes at a price.
Number 2: Short Fuse
From a Funko Pop Assortment that already featured a Penguin covered in Cheezy Poofs and a Penguin holding dynamite with an evil twinkle in his eye, Short Fuse still stands out as a unique and original member of the Pop Community. First off, the helmet, goggles, belt, and gloves! If Short Fuse only had those on it, he still would have been gobbled up at the low low price of $3.91 (thanks Amazon)! What makes this guy even cooler is the face like no other. In a time when Pops are being pushed out so often that you can tell what molds they used from previous Pops, Short Fuse looks different than any other. The face is adorable, the paint job is adorable, the fact that he sits flat is adorable. Funko really went all out to make Short Fuse’s Harp Seal Features stand out amongst his awesome uniform.
Number 1: Shredder Plankton
How do you make what is normally considered food by every living thing in the ocean look menacing? You put said food source in a Shredder Costume. Yes THAT Shredder costume! Plankton may never score the recipe to crabby patties, but he will score some cool guy points with the ladies in this getup. Funko did an awesome job detailing him out with the perfect replica helmet and cape that factored so deeply into my childhood. The only sad thing is this 2-pack with him and Leo SpongeBob is hard to acquire now.
Matt Norris